Dichotomy of Us

 

Straight A’s but those marks aren’t the only ones being made

Some sketched on to bright pages with ticks and smiley faces others etched into pale skin in hidden places

People see her shining bright in the stage spot light, voice carries to new heights

Behind the mask it’s dark; she’s afraid of being seen, can hardly eat, can’t fall asleep

No one will notice, it’s fine.

Ever achieving levels of mastery

Exploration of methods of artistry

Never ending trials at alchemy…

Of feeling into numbness

Or making it make some sense

Something else can always be dispensed…

So she’s forgotten how to cry and there’s that twinkle in the eye that lets others know they’re safe to feel and express and be real

Unmask is what we ask, is what we preach and we embark on a journey so well advised ..

Because ‘mental health matters’

but not at the expense of others and not if it in some way bothers the capitalist notion of economic growth

It’s okay not to be okay but make sure it’s not too often or you may be labelled an attention seeking victim..

So she’s fine

The scars have faded, but memories are complicated

Now the pains distant, it just shows up different but she can advocate and she can emulate all those things that were expected of her…

The straight A’s and high pay grade and no mention of all the mistakes ever made

The rollercoaster ride of being enthralled in the monotony

Living a life of coexisting dichotomy

Where the dark nestles in under the crook of one arm, a  necessary copilot of mistrust and harm but it rides with the light, with the celebration of all that is right and maybe one day there’ll be space on that stage for the dark to be in the spot light and the truth will reach new heights…

The masks lay discarded

True self left unguarded

But safe to be explored, discovered, uncovered.. embraced, unapologetically taking up space… have a place.

She’ll remember how to laugh and how to cry

Embracing in the lows and the highs

This life will have purpose

Both will be okay for us

~Stephanie, SGR Writing~