I do not often remember, but I will never forget. 

 

I  do not often remember. 

I buried you and all that went with you

In the deepest darkest places of my mind

But you raise your ugly head from time to time  

When you do, you remind me of all the things you took from me;

The things my adult self needed to be.

The comfort within my own skin,

A sense of contentment within…

You had me cold and exposed,

Too young and naive; 

Easy pray when I had no way to leave. 

The memories, crashing through my whole being like a tsunami,

The guilt, the pain, the shame, all of it combined, it fills and spills over and consumes me.

You took a part of me.

You will never know it, but in that moment, you broke me.

The wound you left will never heal completely.

But I have confronted those demons frequently

And they no longer have a hold on me;

So they reside in a dark part of me,

Becoming part of what makes me, me.

Once so monstrous, now just a fraction 

But a lifetime’s reminder of your sinister actions.

The parts of me are unique 

But delicately interwoven 

A patchwork of armour 

No longer broken 

I accept my past now

I heal the shame and regret 

I don’t often remember 

But I will never forget.